As some of you may be aware, last night was the Spike Video Game Awards. Now, I didn't watch them because I'm a grown-ass man who enjoys things outside of getting fucked up on weed and playing Call of Duty for eighteen hours straight. But from reading about them the day after, I'm confident in saying that they were likely embarrassing, almost completely devoid of any actual merit, and probably far more concerned about appealing to the type of people who watch Spike (i.e., overgrown adolescent douchebags) than about handing out awards.
It's of course a difficult thing to do, to say which games deserve recognition or not, and I'm sure that my list is far from comprehensive – I haven't played every game that's come out this year. With that being said, it's… THE 2010 VIGIGAMES AWARDS.
With your host, Neil Patrick Harris (I'm fully admitting that I think the man is truly charming. He almost got me to tune in last night, but then I would have felt embarrassed about watching him spout the lines that he would)! Here we go. I'll be listing Spike's nominees and winners, and then my own nominees and winners.
Spike's nominees for Studio of the Year
– BioWare
– Blizzard Entertainment
– Bungie Studios
– Rockstar San Diego
WINNER: BioWare
Vigigames Awards:
OK, Studio of the Year is such a weird category. What does this mean? Studio with the most consistent output this year? Studio with the best game this year? Studio that's the most prolific? There's too many variables here. With that said, I'm going to go ahead and say that I'm going to give it to the studios with the most consistently excellent, high-quality stuff that actually put more than one game out this year.
Nominees:
– Nintendo
– Level 5
– Gaijin Games
– Grasshopper Manufacture
WINNER: Nintendo. Obviously. But this is a stupid category anyways and I'm generally against a lot of the HD gameplay "refinements" that have been so championed this year, so… yeah.
Spike nominee that I'm OK with:
BioWare. Though I only played like an hour of Mass Effect 2, it seemed pretty OK, though mostly this award is for residual good feelings from their 90s PC output.
Spike's nominees for Best Wii Game
– Donkey Kong Country Returns
– Kirby’s Epic Yarn
– Metroid: Other M
– Super Mario Galaxy 2
WINNER: Super Mario Galaxy 2
Vigigames Awards nominees: Well, I'm generally OK with all of these, though I'd take Metroid: Other M off of there… it's way too uneven. And what the hell, let's go with Fragile Dreams instead of Kirby's Epic Yarn.
– Donkey Kong Country Returns
– Fragile Dreams
– Sin and Punishment 2
– Super Mario Galaxy 2
WINNER: Super Mario Galaxy 2
Spike's nominees for Best Xbox 360 Game
– Alan Wake
– Fable III
– Halo: Reach
– Mass Effect 2
Vigigames Awards nominees: OK, no way that Alan Wake or Fable III or Halo: Reach make it on this list. Jesus, those games. Fable III is more Peter Molyneux "best game ever baiting," Halo: Reach is dumb shooterville, and Alan Wake is one of the most disappointingly bad games this year. I was thoroughly underwhelmed by the crop of XBox 360 games this year. But let's go with…
– Fallout: New Vegas
– Vanquish
– Just Cause 2
– Bayonetta
WINNER: Fallout: New Vegas. Overall, a weak crop of games, and I'd like to put another RPG on there, but I don't feel qualified to talk about the quality of Mass Effect 2, and Final Fantasy XIII is some serious balls. Fallout: New Vegas and Vanquish are really only the two games from this list that I have no reservations about recommending… the other two are merely very outrageous, and therefore enjoyable.
Spike's nominees for Best PS3 Game
– God of War III
– Heavy Rain
– ModNation Racers
– Red Dead Redemption
WINNER: God of War III
Vigigames Awards nominees: Well, I don't have a PS3… but Jesus Christ, Heavy Rain? Seriously? I don't even have to have played that game to tell you how wrongheaded an approach to videogaming that is. Throw in a boring God of War game and a blatant Mario Kart knockoff, and this is a pretty weak list.
– Ummm… the same things on the XBox 360 list? Were there any interesting exclusives this year?
What the hell, let's give it to Red Dead Redemption. Sure! I mean, it's kind of terrible in a lot of ways but at least it's pretty and I like horses?
Best PC Game
– Fallout: New Vegas
– Mass Effect 2
– Sid Meier’s Civilization V
– StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty
WINNER: StarCraft II
Vigigames Awards: This is an OK list. This is probably the first year since the early 2000s that I've really wanted a gaming computer. Since I can't nominate old PC games, I'm going to keep this list intact. Civilization V is probably pretty boss. Why don't we make that one the winner? (Fallout's already had its day in the sun)
Spike's nominees for Best Handheld Game
– God of War: Ghost of Sparta
– Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker
– Professor Layton and the Unwound Future
– Super Scribblenauts
WINNER: God of War: Ghost of Sparta
Vigigames Awards nominees: OK, Spike was clearly out to lunch here. Let's see… more God of War, Metal Gear Solid cutscene fests and a puzzle game that gets by entirely on its technical merits. Here's my list:
– Professor Layton and the Unwound Future
– Golden Sun: Dark Dawn
– Dragon Quest IX
– Etrian Odyssey III
WINNER: Dragon Quest IX. Duh. One of my favourite JRPGs of all time. I'd put Prinny 2 on this list but it's unfortunately Japan-only right now.
Spike's nominees for Best Shooter
– Battlefield: Bad Company 2
– BioShock 2
– Call of Duty: Black Ops
– Halo: Reach
WINNER: Halo: Reach
Vigigames Awards nominees: Jesus, what a terrible category. The fact that gamers have a genre called "shooters" in the first place, not to mention that we feel the need to award by genre instead of overall merit, is kind of ridiculous. BUT I have to abide by the stringent, arbitrary regulations laid down by Spike (and myself, I guess). Therefore, let's go with:
– Goldeneye 007
– Sin and Punishment 2
– Bit.Trip Fate
– Vanquish
WINNER: Sin and Punishment 2. Probably the best 3D shmup ever. I know that this isn't really what Spike considers a "shooter," but fuck 'em! I'm doing my own thing here!
Spike's nominees for Best Action-Adventure Game
– Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood
– God of War III
– Red Dead Redemption
– Super Mario Galaxy 2
WINNER: Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
Vigigames Awards nominees: We're going to strike the first three off this list. You probably already know what game I'm going to pick, but let me just say that if they're allowed to have a shooter category, why not a platformer category? SMG2 is hardly what I would traditionally consider an "Action-Adventure Game."
– No More Heroes 2
– Super Mario Galaxy 2
– Battle Kid: Fortress of Peril
– Bit.Trip Runner
WINNER: Super Mario Galaxy 2
Spike's nominees for Best RPG
– Fable III
– Fallout: New Vegas
– Final Fantasy XIII
– Mass Effect 2
WINNER: Mass Effect 2.
Vigigames Awards nominees: Apparently, the only RPGs that came out this year were on the HD consoles. Shocker! With that being said, this was a banner year for the DS in terms of RPGs.
– Golden Sun: Dark Dawn
– Dragon Quest IX
– Fallout: New Vegas
– The Room Online
WINNER: Dragon Quest IX. Golden Sun and Fallout are amazing in their own ways, and The Room is hilarious and charming, obviously, but Dragon Quest IX is so expansive, yet so personal and touching and amazing in its examinations of the notions of faith, that it's ultimately one of the best games of the year.
Spike's nominees for Best Multiplayer Game
– Battlefield: Bad Company 2
– Call of Duty: Black Ops
– Halo: Reach
– StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty
WINNER: Halo: Reach
Vigigames Awards nominees: Nope. Nope nope nope. This is bullshit. If you like killing people, then this list is for you I guess (and one of mine involves that too but IT'S DIFFERENT), but otherwise these are some shitty multiplayer games. Here's my favourites.
– Goldeneye 007
– Tatsunoko vs. Capcom
– StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty
– Rock Band 3
WINNER: Tatsunoko vs. Capcom. What can I say, I'm a sucker for fighting games in multiplayer scenarios, and TvC is really, really fun.
Spike's nominees for Best Individual Sports Game
– EA Sports MMA
– Shaun White Skateboarding
– Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11
– UFC Undisputed 2010
WINNER: Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11
No comment from me. I haven't played any of these games, nor have I played any Individual Sports Games this year.
Spike's nominees for Best Team Sports Game
– FIFA Soccer 11
– Madden NFL 11
– NBA 2K11
– MLB ’10: The Show
WINNER: NBA 2K11
Vigigames Awards nominees: because I only played two games of note in this category, they both get nominated.
– NBA Jam
– NHL 2K11
WINNER: NBA Jam. It's pretty "meh" compared to the originals, but what can you do?
Spike's nominees for Best Driving Game
– Blur
– ModNation Racers
– Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit
– Split/Second
WINNER: Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit
Once again, no comment. Haven't played any of these.
Spike's nominees for Best Music Game
– Dance Central
– DJ Hero 2
– Def Jam Rapstar
– Rock Band 3
WINNER: Rock Band 3
Vigigames Awards nominees: I'll nominate Rock Band 3 because it seems to be pretty universally loved. But how do we deal with games like The Polynomial, or Auditorium, or hell, even Bit.Trip Runner? Those are games where music is the central conceit, but they'd hardly be considered "music games" in most contexts. But what the hell! I'll nominate them anyways.
– The Polynomial
– Auditorium
– Bit. Trip Runner
– Rock Band 3
WINNER: Auditorium. The Polynomial is pretty fantastic, but what can I say… I'm a sucker for puzzles, and Auditorium's are both beautiful and challenging.
Spike's nominees for Best Soundtrack
– Def Jam Rapstar
– DJ Hero 2
– Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock
– Rock Band 3
WINNER: DJ Hero 2. What a weird category. I have no comment on it, because what the hell… this should be retitled "best use of licensed music," obviously.
Spike's nominees for Best Song in a Game
– Basket Case by Green Day
– Black Rain by Soundgarden
– Far Away by José González
– GoldenEye by Nicole Scherzinger
– Replay/Rude Boy Mashup by Iyaz & Rihanna
– Won’t Back Down by Eminem
WINNER: Far Away by José González. Yep, that's my winner too. It's an amazing song. I can't really think of any other songs in videogames this year, so it's my winner by default.
Spike's nominees for Best Original Score
– God of War III
– Halo: Reach
– Mass Effect 2
– Red Dead Redemption
WINNER: Red Dead Redemption
Vigigames Awards: This category is the most filled with serious bullshit – tons of atonal orchestral shit. I've had this list ready all year.
– Kirby's Epic Yarn
– Final Fantasy: The 4 Heroes of Light
– Super Mario Galaxy 2
– Red Dead Redemption
WINNER: Super Mario Galaxy 2. The best videogame soundtrack of all time. Obviously it's going to win. And a lot of Super Mario Galaxy 2's charm comes from its soundtrack.
Spike's nominees for Best Graphics
– God of War III
– Heavy Rain
– Kirby’s Epic Yarn
– Red Dead Redemption
WINNER: God of War III
Vigigames Awards nominees: well, besides that this doesn't really take into account artistic design (besides Kirby's Epic Yarn… though if this was the case, why not Limbo, or Scott Pilgrim?)… let's go with these ones.
– Dragon Quest IX
– Limbo
– Kirby's Epic Yarn
– Final Fantasy XIII
WINNER: Kirby's Epic Yarn. It's just so charming!
Spike's nominees for Best Adapted Video Game
– LEGO: Harry Potter: Years 1-4
– Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game
– Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions
– Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II
– Transformers: War for Cybertron
WINNER: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game
Vigigames Awards nominees: the fact that this category is longer than the usual four in every other category is… telling, don't you think? I think this is a weird and terrible category, but Scott Pilgrim is absolutely delightful, so it wins!
Spike's nominees for Best Performance by a Human Male
– Daniel Craig as James Bond
– Gary Oldman as Sgt. Reznov
– John Cleese as Jasper
– Martin Sheen as Illusive Man
– Nathan Fillion as Sergeant Edward Buck
– Neil Patrick Harris as Peter Parker/Amazing Spider-Man
– Rob Wiethoff as John Marston
– Sam Worthington as Alex Mason
WINNER: Neil Patrick Harris. Sure, why not?
Spike's nominees for Best Performance by a Human Female
– Dame Judi Dench as M
– Danica Patrick as Herself
– Emmanuelle Chriqui as The Numbers Lady
– Felicia Day as Veronica
– Jennifer Hale as Commander Sheppard
– Kristen Bell as Lucy Stillman
– Tricia Helfer as Sarah Kerrigan
– Yvonne Strahovski as Miranda Lawson
WINNER: Tricia Helfer. Yep! OK.
Spike's nominees for Best Downloadable Game
– Costume Quest
– Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light
– Monday Night Combat
– Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game
WINNER: Costume Quest
Vigigames Awards nominees: now here's where it gets iffy. Of course they ignored the WiiWare service. But that's to be expected. Here's my list.
– Bit.Trip Runner
– Bit.Trip Fate
– Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game
– Fluidity
WINNER: Bit.Trip Runner. It's horrific how much time I've spent on this game, and it's probably one of the very best "pure" platformers out there. Bit.Trip is also probably one of the best downloadable series out there, and this year really put a cap on it.
Bonus winner, because it actually came out in 2004 but became downloadable again this year: Cave Story. Because Cave Story is probably better than every game nominated this year in every category.
Spike's nominees for Best DLC
– BioShock 2: Minerva’s Den
– Borderlands: The Secret Armory of General Knoxx
– Mass Effect 2: Lair of the Shadow Broker
– Red Dead Redemption – Undead Nightmare
WINNER: Red Dead Redemption – Undead Nightmare. DLC is stupid and I won't support it here. Next!
Spike's nominees for Best Independent Game
– Joe Danger
– Limbo
– Super Meat Boy
– The Misadventures of P.B. Winterbottom
WINNER: Limbo.
Vigigames Awards nominees: now, how do you define "indie?" This list is probably very incomplete, and there's bound to be some overlap with the downloadable games (of course)
– Minecraft
– Clockwords
– Super Meat Boy
– Bit.Trip Runner/Fate
WINNER: Let's give it to Clockwords. It's a game with such great, Professor Layton-esque aesthetics and unbelievably addictive gameplay. And it's free online! Go play it!
Spike's nominees for Most Anticipated Game
– Batman: Arkham City
– BioShock: Infinite
– Gears of War 3
– Portal 2
WINNER: Portal 2.
Vigigames Awards nominees: I don't really know what's coming out next year, but here's my list.
– The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
– Portal 2
– The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
– Pikmin 3
WINNER: Zelda, obvs. Though I'm also incredibly excited for Portal 2. Let's call it a tie.
Spike's nominees for Game of the Year
– Call of Duty: Black Ops
– God of War III
– Halo: Reach
– Mass Effect 2
– Red Dead Redemption
WINNER: Red Dead Redemption.
Vigigames Awards nominees: they got it so horribly wrong here. Sigh. It's just defeating to me that this is what we consider "good." Enough with the moping, though!
– Dragon Quest IX
– Super Mario Galaxy 2
– Donkey Kong Country Returns
– Fallout: New Vegas
– Sin and Punishment 2
WINNER: Super Mario Galaxy 2. It has more creativity than any of those Spike nominated games combined, and shows how far ahead Nintendo is at providing accessible, polished, and amazingly inventive gameplay that's not beholden to the film medium or shoddy, inconsequential shooting mechanics.
Incidentally,
Here's my Top Ten list of the year for games (and because I like you, my top five for movies!):
1. Super Mario Galaxy 2
2. Dragon Quest IX
3. Sin and Punishment 2
4. Donkey Kong Country Returns
5. Fallout: New Vegas
6. Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon
7. Bit.Trip Runner/Fate
8. Vanquish
9. Professor Layton and the Unwound Future
10. No More Heroes 2
With special bonus awards going to Clockwords, The Polynomial, Kirby's Epic Yarn, and Golden Sun: Dark Dawn.
Movies!
1. The Social Network
2. How to Train Your Dragon
3. Shutter Island
4. Inception
5. Babies (seriously, Babies.)
Though I'm going to say that even though I haven't seen it, Black Swan is likely going to be my favourite film of the year. I LOVE Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake, the behind-the-scenes sports film, ballet, Natalie Portman, and psychological thrillers. And Darren Aronofsky.